Man oh man let me tell you how much I friggin hate rest stops/service areas or whatever the flying f*ck they are called. They should be called sh*t hole stops. Now you probably are wondering why I am cussin like I have Tourettes. Well I just am so frigging adamant about my hatred towards these highway rest areas.
I was driving back from a business meeting in South Florida. It was about noon and my stomach started to talk to me. So I pass one of those infamous signs that tell you what kind of food they serve at the rest area. On the sign I noticed that there was a Cheeburger Cheeburger (no I didn’t misspell it!). I had heard good things about this place and decided to pull off the highway and get me a burger. Boy was this a bad idea. I walk pass the automatic sliding doors and I immediately felt like I entered into a different country. Now have you ever been to Disney or any amusement park? If you have then take all the things you hate about amusement parks and you have the environment of a rest area. First off there are tons of people that don’t even speak English. The lines are long (even for the bathroom). The food is overpriced. And there are tons of children running around without their parents supervision. I had to rub my eyes to make sure that I was not at Disney. So I figured I need to hurry up and grab food and get the hell out of there. Well I find Cheeburger Cheeburger and the line was about 10 people deep. Here I am thinking that it shouldn’t be too bad. Oh no it seem like everybody in front of me was ordering for a small army. At this point my blood is boiling and I am thinking to myself, I wish they had speed pass at these places. The line starts to dwindle and it is almost my turn to order. While standing in line, I see this little boy climbing on everything he can and the mother is not saying anything. Not only is he climbing but he is running into everybody in line and jumping. I am thinking what the hell are you doing mom? Then the kid falls and busts his ass. Now the mom wants to come over and say something. While everybody else is like awww is he ok? I am trying to hold back from exploding and saying watch your damn kids lady!! But I chose to laugh at him instead. So I reach the lady at the register and put in my order. I just order a cheeseburger to go. She pushes a couple of buttons on her register and says 8 bucks please. I shake my head and said excuse me? I couldn’t believe it. It was 8 bucks for a burger. I reluctantly handed her a ten dollar bill. When I got my food, I unwrapped it from its packaging and seen how small it was. At this point, I could punch everybody in their face. I’m normally a laid back guy. But I was pissed and I wanted to take it out on someone. However, I thought it was best for me to just return to my car and eat my $8 hamburger. So instead of appearing on the news for flipping out at a rest area, I took the high road and drove home. Even though in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have been driving with all that anger in me. Oh well.
Next time you are on a road trip, stop by one of these hell holes and see exactly what the hell I am talking about. If you have been to one and know what I am talking about then please share your story!