Office Scavenger

This beats shopping at the grocery store!!

This beats shopping at the grocery store!!

One of my fellow readers wanted to hear my thoughts on people that steal from the office fridge.  Since I am about giving the readers what they want, I am going to share my commentary about a person I’d like to call the “Office Scavenger”!!

For those that work in an environment in which there is a community refrigerator can understand the pain when they discover they’ve been had by the office scavenger.  Well what is an office scavenger??  An office scavenger is a person that is known for taking and eating other people’s food from the community fridge.  I don’t care where you work but every environment has at least one.   Every office tries to thwart the evil scavenger by putting labels or hiding their food from the clutches of the scavenger.  But it never fails, the office scavenger ignores all labels and can sniff out food with their keen sense of smell.  The scavenger has always been an interesting species to follow.  If you think about it these animals have the skills to hunt for their own food.  But decide to feed off the remains of food.  Some other famous animal scavengers include: coyotes, vultures, crows, and hyenas.

So how do you identify the office scavenger?  Well here are some common behaviors of an office scavenger.

  • Never brings in their own lunch or goes out to lunch
  • Often hangs out in the vicinity of your refrigerator
  • Takes late lunches
  • May compliment you on what you are eating
  • Knows everybody by name ( to associate with who brought what)

Many people want to know how to find who the office scavenger is?  Well I have been told that there are a few questionable methods on tracking the office scavenger.  The first one would be to place one of those little cameras in the back of the fridge and on the freezer.  So you can identify who is making frequent trips to the refrigerator.  Now if you don’t want to set up hidden cameras like you are on an episode of Punk’d, then you could always go to a more traditional method.  You can set up the infamous booby trap (all I can hear is Data from the Goonies saying that word.. shout out to my boy Kevin who looks like Data & Shortround).  By setting a booby trap (heh I said booby) you can make it quite uncomfortable for the office scavenger.  Here is what you can do.   First you purchase some good food that you know the scavenger won’t resist.  Then you lace it with ExLax.  Make sure you mix it in there good so it isn’t noticeable.  Then place the food back in the fridge and

Go extra strength if you want to make the scavenger pay!

Go extra strength if you want to make the scavenger pay!

place a do not eat label on it.  The one thing I know is that the office scavenger gravitates towards the food labeled with “Do Not Eat”.  Then you play the waiting game for a bit.  If someone ends up leaving because of diarrhea problems or stomach problems then you may have your suspect.  Hey I did warn you that this method was questionable. But it gets results.

Well I hope that I have educated you enough on the ways of the office scavenger.  Now if you are reading this and are known for such behavior and have  not been caught.  Consider this your warning.  Nobody likes an office scavenger.  So don’t be that person.

-MBTC

7 thoughts on “Office Scavenger

    • i don’t know if it makes it acceptable Leigh Anne. Haha.. Do you have any funny bathroom stories that you would like to share??

  1. That is hilarious! I love the note. Good thing I didn’t really even want to eat the lunch that was so kindly discarded of by the scavenger :).

  2. LOL, this is so funny!! I am glad we don’t have one of those in our office – but then again, I always drive home for lunch anyway… BTW, love your blog, the stories are really entertaining!

    • Thanks for the compliment on the blog Claudia. I am glad that my writing can help entertain you. I just need some sort of gimmick like the genius one you have on your site!

      Also be thankful for people not stealing your lunch at your office!! As you probably read there are some angry victims out there!

  3. Does it count as the “office scavenger” when you see your lunch in the trash? Container and all…?

    Also, Would you rather the OS eat half your lunch and put it back or just eat the whole thing?

    All of these things happen in the office…what I really dont get is why someone would even WANT to eat someones home cooked meal?

  4. Jamie told me that this happened before and as a result a law suit ensued. The office scavenger was consistently eating the same person’s lunch so they decided to get payback. The victim decided to bring chocolate cake and lace it with laxatives. Of course the OS ate the cake and got really sick — sick to the point of hospitilization. The OS ended up suing the person whose lunch they were stealing and WON! A court found that they were guilty of knowingly inflicting harm on this person. So the moral of the story is: it sucks when people eat your food. Instead of getting payback through their food, go to HR and share words or even better call them out and tell them to stop being lunch thieves.

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