Embarrassing Bathroom Moments

bathroom-sign-1We all have our moment in our lives where nature calls.  However when she calls isn’t always the best time for us to answer.  But as the saying goes when you gotta go you gotta go!!  Now we all have that one story (some might have more) of an embarrassing bathroom moment.  Since I am all about giving the readers what they want to read, I will proudly share my embarrassing bathroom moment.  So if you are eating and have a weak stomach, I will give you a moment to finish your food before I tell this epic story.

Ok that is more than enough time. So here goes my embarrassing bathroom moment.  I was a freshman in college (Bridgewater State to be exact).  It was an early morning.  I thought since I was in for a long couple of hours and could potentially miss lunch, I indulged on a huge breakfast.  Now one thing that most college students will tell you is that cafeteria food goes right through you.  It has a nasty habit of sneaking up on you when you least expect it.  But I completed my breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast.  My buddy Dave and I head out to our action packed Calculus class.  Which if you have taken any Calculus class the last thing you remember is it being fun.  Just imagine having to sit there for over an hour.  Dave and I arrive to the classroom and take our seats.  The teacher arrives and starts to pass out our test about tangents, secants, and all things Calculus.  At this point I am doing fine.  Well that changed drastically right around 45 minutes into the class I can start to hear and feel the bubble guts coming up.  For those that are not familiar with bubble guts, it is that feeling you get in your stomach right before you are about ready to have explosive diarrhea!  See aren’t you glad I gave you time to finish eating??  But anyways, I feel it coming on strong and unfortunately since I am in the middle of a test I can’t leave until I am finished.  The class period lasted for an hour and some change.  So I am taking the test and bouncing my leg up and down because I am trying to take my mind off the pot of coffee I was brewing inside of me.  I managed to finish my test with 15-20 minutes to spare.  After I left the class I darted to the bathroom.  But you ever have that moment where you have to go really bad and then you get stage fright and nothing happens.  Well that was exactly what happened to me.  I left the bathroom and met up with Dave.  Dave and I decided that we would go back to the dorm for lunch.  Please keep in mind that as part of the Freshman treatment, the classrooms was on one side of campus and our dorms were on the other.  Not only that, but our dorms sat on top of a huge hill.  All of this information are key components to the story.  Anyways, Dave and I started our trek on a brisk winter day back to our dorms.  We get about halfway and I feel my stomach starting to do cartwheels.  I try not to think about it and continue our voyage.  Now remember how I said cafeteria food has a nasty way of sneaking up on you?  Well out of the blue breakfast wanted to come out.  Needless to say what started as a brisk walk turned into a mad dash for the nearest bathroom.  The only place that would possibly be open was a Junior/Senior dorm.  So I dart towards the door and low and behold it was locked.  The only way to get in was with your student id that served as a keycard.  Since I didn’t live in that dorm, my id would not have worked.  At this point I am crushed and running out of options and nobody is around to let me into the dorm.  Now I was left with two options because I was not going to make it to the dorms. My first option was to sh*t my pants and have that just chill in my underwear (remember it is cold outside).  The last option was to just drop my pants and take a dump outside the dorm.  Well without hesitation, I proceeded to drop my pants and draws and just squatted right outside.  Yep that is exactly what I did.  I was waving to people as they passed by.  Hey I am sorry but sh*tting my pants would’ve been far worse.  Right now my buddy Dave is just shocked that I would’ve done such a thing.  After I was done, I felt like a load had been lifted (literally) and proceeded to my dorm.  But the story doesn’t end here.  Apparently one of my friends had heard this story (thanks to Dave) and took pictures.  Also because it was so cold outside, I would pass by it everytime I would walk to class.  So not only was I embarrassed for it but I had to be reminded of it constantly.

And that my friends is a true story and my most embarrassing bathroom moment.  Now that I have shared mine, I would love to hear your stories of your most embarrassing bathroom moment.  Please do share, I know that you have some (yeah I am talking to you Bree!)

Leave comments and remember to always tell your friends about this blog.

-MBTC

18 thoughts on “Embarrassing Bathroom Moments

  1. before I start my story I’m putting Jeff on blast bc his is worse then either of ours. Jeff u must remember the ending in which u are preparing me for what u are about to show me and the funny story to tell.
    Okay so enough about my man this is about me…. My brother was throwing a Rollins party at One Eyed Jack and I had nothing to do at 6 so I started drinking with him to celebrate. I’m drinking a lot bc Jeff isn’t around to tell me to stop. Skip through dancing with Aida and Weathers and it is now about 11 and I’m saused. I’m ready to leave and start doing the drunk girl stomp off (you ladies know that walk). I then realize that I have to pee and can’t find a downtown establishment that will let me “go”. Now I’m in the parking garage with dan and Aida and I think I can just pee in a corner, but my brother says no and commands Aida to hold me so I won’t sneak off. Now I’m in a light place, standing right in the middle of the drive part, a girl is holding me in a bear hug and I decide Fuck It….. I just let in flow and I proclaim aloud “I’m now pissing myself”. Aida dropped her death grip, pushed me, and screamed something. All I could say was “I told u I had to go”. Lucky Aida had a pair of random sweatpants in her car that I changed into, but the embrassing part came when Jeff answered the door to our home and asked why I was wearing sweatpants. Not a sexy gf move. : /

  2. Hahahaha! Its odd that you wrote this blog entry because I just told this story to a few people last week! I am sure that famous tird is still there. You laid one mean egg my friend. And I still think taking a dump in your pants was the better option 🙂

    • nooooo that actually happened my freshman year ….yes yes the caf food goes right through you……8 oclock class – 10 oclock class and my stomach was boiling a mean cup of butt stew….well almost darting to my house…..lowe and behold it let itself out, while im on the sidewalk 2 buildings away from home….i paused and im sure the look on my face was priceless….relief and embaressment…..and to top it of i had to walk the rest of the way with wet stinky poopy pants and my roommates girlfirend flings the door open as i stick my key in to enter againthat face hit me like oh crap literally……when i finally got cleaned up i told my “dave” (bestie) and he died laughing and still teases me about it to this day….:-{

  3. All I can hear is Erin saying “Jeff where did your socks go?” And “why are you home at 11:30am on a work day??”……..So let me explain how I got to this point! Lets rewind this Quentin Tarantino style. As some of you may know I use to work out in New Smyrna Beach (NSB) for a local home builder. I had an early appointment with a homeowner on a Monday. I visit my homeowner in NSB and the house happened to be in a finished community. At the end of the appointment the bubble guts started brewing. The nearest available bathroom is in a community about 15 min away. So here I am in a pickle about what to do with this poo. As I am now sweating from dealing with the problem at hand, I remembered an empty house that we used as a sales center on the other side of the community. So I high tail it to the house and Dukes of Hazzard style pull into the drive way. I quickly enter the garage door code and rush to the house door. FUCK its locked and I dont have a key. With no shit house in sight I have to think fast. I run to my truck and of course the only thing I can find is a small hand towel. I hustle back into the garage, hit the garage door button to close the door, but leave it just cracked for light. I pull my pants down and do the squat lean against the wall then proceed to have explossive diahrea on the wall and garage floor. Oh and by the way I couldnt pull my pants down fast enough and got a little on the boxers. Now comes the tough part. How do I wipe?? I throw my shoes off, pull the pants off, use what little of my boxers that wasn’t already covered in shit to wipe and also my socks. Now done, I put the pants and shoes back on. Leave the house….not cleaning any of the shit up….and drove strait home. Little did I know, the reason the door was locked was the house had been sold a week before the incident, and the owners actually moved in the next day after I shit all over their garage!!! Welcome to the neighborhood.

  4. lmao, these are disgustingly funny! Not sure if you seen this, but it’s hilarious:

    How to Poop at work!

    ——————————————————————————–

    We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it.

    We’ve all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

    CROP DUSTING
    When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn’t know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

    FLY BY
    The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

    ESCAPEE
    A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

    JAILBREAK
    When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

    COURTESY FLUSH
    The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

    WALK OF SHAME
    Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the useof the COURTESY FLUSH.

    OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
    A colleague who poops at work and is Doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

    THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
    A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

    SAFE HAVENS
    A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite s*x. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your s*x entering the bathroom.

    TURD BURGLAR
    Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

    CAMO-COUGH
    A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

    ASTAIRE
    A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

    WATERMELON
    A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

    HAVANAOMELET
    A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

    UNCLE TED
    A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever…Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees

    and now different types of POOP!
    ##############################

    Ghost Poop = You know you’ve pooped. There’s poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.

    Teflon Coated Poop = Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don’t feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

    Gooey Poop = This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn’t come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don’t stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

    Second Thought Poop = You’re all done wiping your butt and you’re about to stand up when you realize it…you’ve got some more.

    Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop = This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn’t come until you’re all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

    Bali Belly Poop = You poop so much you lose 5 kilos.

    Right Now Poop = You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

    King Kong or Commode Choker Poop = This poop is so big that you know it won’t go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else’s house.

    Wet Cheeks Poop = This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.

    Wish Poop = You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poop!

    Cement Block or Oh God Poop = You wish you’d gotten a spinal block before you poop.

    Snake Poop = This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

    Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) = Even after the third flush, it’s still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else’s house.

    Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers) = You’ll know it’s alright to eat again when your butthole stops burning.

    Beer Drunk Poop = This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poop doesn’t smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there’s somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also usually happens at someone else’s house.

    The Frightened Turtle = The kind of poop that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.

    The Bungee Poop = The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before it falls into the water.

    The Ring of Fire Poop = The kind of poop where you eat really spicy food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

    The Crippler = The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

    The Big Bobber = The kind of poop that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

    The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang = The kind of poop that hits you when you’re trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

    The Incredible Hulk Poop = The king of poop that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it’s normal size.

    Jack the Ripper Poop = The kind of poop that yanks out your butthair as it pushes its way out.

    The Party Pooper = The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

    The Toxic Gas Poop = The kind of poop that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

    Dirty Bowl Poop = The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche – but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

    The Windy City Poop = When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a poop.

    • wow.. Nicole you have way too much free time over in San Fran. i really think that this almost made me vomit.. thanks for sharing this instead of a fart!

  5. this story is so emarrasing, and disgusting at the same time. but its not better than the ryan’s steakhouse story.
    this happened about a year ago when i was 15. it was my birthday and my gf, my friends, and i were going out to eat. unfortunately, we ate at taco bell. when ever i eat there i get real bad explosive diarrhea. but it was my gf’s idea, and i didnt want to hurt her feelings so i ate there anyways.
    the food tastes so good to me, so i ate about 4 tacos and drunk 2 cokes. here i am, eating my 5th taco and here comes the bubble guts. everyone around could hear the grumbles. but i figured i would ignore it and continue eating. then the grumbles got louder and my gf asked “austin, honey are you okay?” i said fine and excused myself to the bathroom. i had to walk/run before i exploded. when i got there i went in the last stall and unleashed. it sounded like an explosion in there. iliterally pumped liquid shit out of my ass for 15 or so minutes. i stood up, thinking i was done but here it came again. more farts, squirts, and explosions. god, i shouldnt have ate here. i thought. i was in there for at least 30 minutes; my friends must of thought i died or something. after i was done for sure, i felt tons better.
    so theres my emarrasing story.

    • wow austin that is a pretty embarrassing story. but nonetheless i am glad you shared it here on man behind the clouds. well hopefully your girl realizes how much you care about her! thanks for the comments and checking out man behind the clouds. feel free to tell your friends and to come back often!

      -MBTC

  6. This is the best website ive ever been to let me share my story
    So i was in the city with my friends and I had some pretezl’s some coffe and some really rich cheescake. So were shopping in macys when all of a sunnden my stomach starts gurgling. At first I think its not gonna bother me but then it gets worse. The worse thing is im wearing a white mini skirt and a thong. Me and my friends exit macys we walk a bit when the gurgling gets worse. So we just stop in the middle of the city when we stop to see a street performer and in the middle of the show i just start farting and the whole crowd goes queit. Then i just stand on the floor and star moaning and i trying to hold it and i walk to the middle of the crowd by accident and dihhrea just goes everywhere i start peeing and everyone is taking pictures the poop is still pouring out. Im still peein . my earing falls and i bend to pick it up. there is a little girl in the crowd and piss squirts oll over her and the last drops off poop is coming out. i feel so stupid at this point so i run to the cab and go home leavin my friends behind. and of course i stink up the cab
    -ps did elvis really die from pooping?
    -sarah

  7. one time i was doing the state test when i was in 5th grade (im 24 now) and i had to piss i was really neverous to and i pas gas when im nervous. so i started passing gas and denied it everyone was looking at me and i got even more nervous and pissed myself

  8. Fortunately, my most embarrassing bathroom story took place when I was by myself, but it was still horrifying nonetheless. About 2 years ago, I was on a high protein diet and as anyone who eats a high protein/low carb diet is well aware, you get bound up pretty well. To balance it, I’d usually take a fiber supplement but I ran out over the course of the weekend and didn’t feel like dealing with going to Wal Mart on a Saturday, soooooo as luck would have it I had some laxatives on hand. I popped a couple and thought no more about it.

    Now these are supposed to be the “gentle, overnight” variety of laxative. When I wake up Sunday morning, I’m expecting a nice healthy poop after I workout and eat my breakfast. Well, no poop for me.

    So around noon I pop a couple more laxatives and figure that I’ll go by the time I’m ready for bed.

    Nada.

    Monday rolls around and out of sheer laziness, I call into work and say I’m going to be a couple of hours late so I turn off my alarm and sleep in for an hour and a half. Boy howdy! Angels were looking out for me that day, because if I hadn’t called in late, the following would have probably happened at my desk instead of in my vehicle. I get up, get my shower and am ready to start my day. I hop in my Blazer and am about halfway to work when I get the tiniest, eensiest, itty bitty-est gas pain so I lift my cheek in preparation to rip a little fart, when suddenly I unleash an unholy torrent of diarrhea that completely soaks through my jeans in an instant.

    The first thought that goes through my head as I turn my Blazer around is, “Thank goodness my seats are leather.” The second thought that goes through my head is, “Am I getting to the age where pooping on myself is going to become a major issue?” And then the third thought that goes through my head is, “How on earth am I going to get from my vehicle into my residence without passing any neighbors or at least how can I stay far enough away from other tenants so they don’t get a whiff of the load in my drawers or a glimpse of the huge brown stain all over the back of my faded jeans?”

    For a day that began with explosive diarrhea, it was actually a pretty lucky day for me. I passed NO neighbors between my parking space and my front door, got to work 3 hours late instead of 2 and fortunately didn’t have to go again for the rest of the day and I think I lost about 4 pounds that day!

    Also, I had to rethink the whole Adkins diet thing…the end.

  9. My story is a bit different from the previous posters. I have told this to my family and
    my Dad always laughs hysterically. I have been a long-haul truck driver for more than 15
    years and many times (due to the unusual schedules & terrible food in truck stops) upset
    stomach and gastro-intestinal problems often occur. About 10 years ago I was driving in
    a southern state (not sure, Alabama or Mississippi or Georgia) and my stomach started
    churning and making noises like an old barn door and I felt the pressure start to build in
    my gut. I was looking for a place to pull over and luckily came upon a roadside rest area.
    This was an old, old rest area that had a cinder block building with rest rooms. I was able
    to pull in, and clenching my cheeks together, hurried to the men’s room. I didn’t quite make
    it inside when my butt started to squirt but I was still trying to keep my cheeks together the
    best I could. When I entered the restroom I noticed only two stalls and they were built in a
    way that the cinder block divider was only about three feet high between the two stalls and
    there were no doors – just open to the rest of the room. I made it to one of the toilets,
    yanked down my pants and exploded all at the same time – most of my doody made it in
    the bowl but there was some mess on me and around the area. After about 30 seconds,
    and feeling some relief, I started to hear a bunch of noise outside of the restroom – it got
    closer and closer and sounded like a SCHOOLYARD. Suddenly, two busloads of school
    children appear in front of me (remember, no door on the stall) and start to line-up for
    their “turn”. Well, 8,9,10 year olds do not have enough common sense to remove them-
    selves from such an embarrasing situation and just stood there – gawking at the fat, bald-
    headed truck driver with sh*t all over himself and the mess on and around the toilet.
    Then, I noticed, no toilet paper !! Just stood up, pulled my stained pants back-up and
    got out of there as fast as I could. I got back in my truck and cleaned up the best I could
    and changed clothes. Doesn’t anyone teach their kids manners anymore ??

  10. so…little Billy comes home from his field trip and Mommy says, “Well Billy, how was the school trip?” Billy replies, “It was fun!” Mommy asks, “What was the best part?” Little Billy thinks for
    a few seconds and says, “It was when we all saw the fat truck-driver covered with sh*t get up and run out of the rest room!” end scene

  11. you forgot the fire craker sh*t, you no, as your sh*ttin tiny but loud short farts come out with no control…..
    Or the talker… who talks while they poo, such as thank God, or WHOA, thats a big one!!!!!

    Okay i have a story. Well, i had just eaten 2 huge bean, egg, and cheese burritos when i had to poop. i was at a resteraunt, so i was hoping nobody would hear or smell the poo explosion that was about to come out my ass. i went in and did a fly by, luckily for me nobodu was in there. i hurries in a stall before my luck ran out. i pulled my pants down in relief and let a disgusting wet louder than ever bomb go that must of lasted for at least 10 min. But to my surprise, i had a “Silent Uncle Ted” on my hands who was there to witness the whole nightmare. they were just standing there, at the mirror stiller than ever. i even heard some muffled chuckles, then some coughing to cover the laugh…. i had to go to wash my hands before my grandma came in to look for me. to my surprise, the “silent uncle ted” just stood there while i washed my hands(rather quicky) with this weird grin. I couldnt get out fast enough!

  12. ok I warn you this is complete fiction and actually im borrowing it from another site but it made me laugh so im posting it here.

    When Tony and I first got married, he wanted to go to Tijuana to visit his grandparents. I wasn’t too thrilled with the idea. When I was a young girl, I had to go there with my parents are part of their church ministry and I know what the “bathroom situation” is like in most places. The idea of staying somewhere for more than a day where I might possibly have to take a dump in a box with a hole cut out didn’t appeal to me at all. (I have bathroom issues.) He swore to me that his grandparents lived in a modern house, with running water and an actual toilet. I fought the idea of going, but I realized I was acting like a spoiled rotten brat and agreed to go. However, I wasn’t thrilled about it.

    We arrived and I was thrilled to see that yes, they had a toilet! However, the toilet was in the middle of the living room. There were four pieces of wood surrounding the toilet that went about halfway up to the ceiling. So, while you technically had “privacy”, there was really no barriers to keep the sounds/smells confined to the bathroom area. I was slightly mortified, but hey! it was a real toilet that I could flush! And besides, it was just us and his grandparents at the house. I could totally deal with that.

    A few hours after we arrived, Tony’s grandmother began making chocolate milkshakes for us to drink. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying “no thank you.” So, I had a milkshake. But then, she made another one and then, another one and you guys! I kept drinking them so as not to offend her. Later that night, my stomach started to hurt really bad. Uh, oh. I thought to myself. I know what’s about to happen and it’s not going to be pretty.

    I was laying in bed with severe stomach cramps when I heard people start coming through the front door. The started to file in, one, two, three at a time. Before you know it, the entire living room was filled with people. And these people were ALL MEN.

    “What the hell is happening here?” I asked my husband. He went to talk to his grandma to find out.

    Apparently, his grandfather was very active in Mexican politics and that night he was hosting A TOWN MEETING! In his living room! The same living room that had the only toilet in the house right in the middle of it! With only four boards around it so no one could see you, but everyone could hear and smell you!

    Oh hell no. This was not happening. Except, it was happening! OH MY GOD IT WAS HAPPENING.

    I tried to fight it, but I couldn’t. I ran to the living room. After making my way past two thousand Mexican men, I made it to the “bathroom.”

    OH LORD JESUS, HELP THESE PEOPLE FOR WHAT THEY ARE ABOUT TO HEAR… and smell

    And then. It happened.

    Sitting on a toilet, shitting out dozens of milkshakes in the middle of a mofo TOWN MEETING. It was loud in the room, so that helped to calm my anxiety about what was happening just a little bit. Until THE ROOM GOT QUIET. I sat there, crying, asking Jesus to JUST KILL ME NOW PLEASE because I had no idea how I was going to find the strength to exit that bathroom after what I had just done.

    I sat there until I figured out an exit strategy. I was going to walk out of there with my head held high, like, YEAH, I JUST DID THAT… WHAT??! But that’s not what happened. I walked out of there, saw the line of people waiting to use the same toilet I had just tore the hell up, and ran out of there– tears streaming down my face– as fast as I could

  13. My brother and I were walking home from our bus stop in high school. It was about a mile long walk with woods all around the road and a hill halfway through. Usually my brother would walk in front me while we listened to music from our headphones, but that day he was behind me. I was busy jamming out, so I didn’t notice my brother was no longer behind me until I made it to the top of the hill. I didnt see him anywhere on the road and he didnt answer when i called his name. He usually stopped to pee and I figured since he had his headphones in so he couldn’t hear me. So I kept on walking until I got home and locked the doors to mess with him when he finally got home. It was a good 10 minutes later when he finally walked up. He was screaming at me through the sliding glass door to open it and bring him bleach and towels. I couldn’t figure out what he did until I saw his shoes. Apperantly he had to go poop so bad he dropped his drawers in the woods. This would have worked if he hadn’t missed. He ended up accidentally taking a crap on the back of his pants and his favorite shoes. He told me he wiped with a leaf and walked all the way home with shit all over him. He still won’t talk about it to this day XD

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