We all have our moment in our lives where nature calls. However when she calls isn’t always the best time for us to answer. But as the saying goes when you gotta go you gotta go!! Now we all have that one story (some might have more) of an embarrassing bathroom moment. Since I am all about giving the readers what they want to read, I will proudly share my embarrassing bathroom moment. So if you are eating and have a weak stomach, I will give you a moment to finish your food before I tell this epic story.
Ok that is more than enough time. So here goes my embarrassing bathroom moment. I was a freshman in college (Bridgewater State to be exact). It was an early morning. I thought since I was in for a long couple of hours and could potentially miss lunch, I indulged on a huge breakfast. Now one thing that most college students will tell you is that cafeteria food goes right through you. It has a nasty habit of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. But I completed my breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast. My buddy Dave and I head out to our action packed Calculus class. Which if you have taken any Calculus class the last thing you remember is it being fun. Just imagine having to sit there for over an hour. Dave and I arrive to the classroom and take our seats. The teacher arrives and starts to pass out our test about tangents, secants, and all things Calculus. At this point I am doing fine. Well that changed drastically right around 45 minutes into the class I can start to hear and feel the bubble guts coming up. For those that are not familiar with bubble guts, it is that feeling you get in your stomach right before you are about ready to have explosive diarrhea! See aren’t you glad I gave you time to finish eating?? But anyways, I feel it coming on strong and unfortunately since I am in the middle of a test I can’t leave until I am finished. The class period lasted for an hour and some change. So I am taking the test and bouncing my leg up and down because I am trying to take my mind off the pot of coffee I was brewing inside of me. I managed to finish my test with 15-20 minutes to spare. After I left the class I darted to the bathroom. But you ever have that moment where you have to go really bad and then you get stage fright and nothing happens. Well that was exactly what happened to me. I left the bathroom and met up with Dave. Dave and I decided that we would go back to the dorm for lunch. Please keep in mind that as part of the Freshman treatment, the classrooms was on one side of campus and our dorms were on the other. Not only that, but our dorms sat on top of a huge hill. All of this information are key components to the story. Anyways, Dave and I started our trek on a brisk winter day back to our dorms. We get about halfway and I feel my stomach starting to do cartwheels. I try not to think about it and continue our voyage. Now remember how I said cafeteria food has a nasty way of sneaking up on you? Well out of the blue breakfast wanted to come out. Needless to say what started as a brisk walk turned into a mad dash for the nearest bathroom. The only place that would possibly be open was a Junior/Senior dorm. So I dart towards the door and low and behold it was locked. The only way to get in was with your student id that served as a keycard. Since I didn’t live in that dorm, my id would not have worked. At this point I am crushed and running out of options and nobody is around to let me into the dorm. Now I was left with two options because I was not going to make it to the dorms. My first option was to sh*t my pants and have that just chill in my underwear (remember it is cold outside). The last option was to just drop my pants and take a dump outside the dorm. Well without hesitation, I proceeded to drop my pants and draws and just squatted right outside. Yep that is exactly what I did. I was waving to people as they passed by. Hey I am sorry but sh*tting my pants would’ve been far worse. Right now my buddy Dave is just shocked that I would’ve done such a thing. After I was done, I felt like a load had been lifted (literally) and proceeded to my dorm. But the story doesn’t end here. Apparently one of my friends had heard this story (thanks to Dave) and took pictures. Also because it was so cold outside, I would pass by it everytime I would walk to class. So not only was I embarrassed for it but I had to be reminded of it constantly.
And that my friends is a true story and my most embarrassing bathroom moment. Now that I have shared mine, I would love to hear your stories of your most embarrassing bathroom moment. Please do share, I know that you have some (yeah I am talking to you Bree!)
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